THE OLDER CROWD
A distraught senior citizen Phoned her doctor’s office. ‘Is it true,’ she wanted to know, ‘that the medication You prescribed has to be taken For the rest of my life?’
‘Yes, I’m afraid so,’ the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence Before the senior lady replied, ‘I’m wondering, then, Just how serious is my condition Because this prescription is marked
An older gentleman was On the operating table Awaiting surgery And he insisted that his son, A renowned surgeon, Perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, He asked to speak to his son. ‘Yes, Dad, what is it? ‘
‘Don’t be nervous, son; Do your best And just remember, If it doesn’t go well , If something happens to me… Your mother Is going to come and Live with you and your wife.’
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point When you stop lying about your age And start bragging about it.
The older we get, The fewer things Seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people Try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way… I’ve traveled a long way And some of the roads weren’t paved.
When you are dissatisfied And would like to go back to youth, Think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when Everything either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things No one tells you about aging Is that it is such a nice change >From being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, But being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, Then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It’s worse when You forget to pull it down.
Long ago, When men cursed And beat the ground with sticks, It was called witchcraft… Today, it’s called golf.
Lord, please… Keep Your arm around my shoulder, And, Your hand over my mouth!
“When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.
When I found I couldn’t change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn’t change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.
Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family.
My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.”